In a time when we have countless communication channels, we are spoiled for choice when it comes to choosing the right one for the unpleasant break-up. Which corresponds to our wishes and which corresponds to the partner's separation requirements?
If you're going to communicate "We need to talk" on your smartphone, you might as well be brave and send "We never need to talk anymore" while applying the bright pink lipstick he hates so much. At least it saves you having to go to your partner just to tell them what they already know. The most beautiful three words were exchanged for the ugliest three words. “I love you” becomes “It’s over”, the last “like” is followed by “remove as friend”. Click and go. The internet gives it to us, but we still refuse to truly value these opportunities.
But why? I advocate giving break-ups via Facebook, WhatsApp or special break-up apps (Oh yes, you heard me.) an image change.
Separation method: farewell message
I've already been broken up with via Facebook message. And hey, I can only recommend it to everyone! That was the most pleasant breakup I've experienced. It's hard to get caught up in emotional, tearful discussions that make you cry away the last shred of dignity you so desperately need after a tough breakup in order to understand again that you're fabulous solo.
Instead, the person separating can explain why it no longer works and say goodbye in peace. We are criticized for being a heartless, smartphone-controlled generation by older generations who compensate for their aging by picking on us, but let's be honest: what kind of ending would be more humane than such a wonderfully composed “It was nice, yes the past tense of this sentence should tell you what’s going on” message?
Separation method: actions instead of words
For those of you who don't like to talk about it for a long time, how about just letting actions speak the words? Download Tinder, Lovoo and Co. to clearly signal that he or she is being replaced. The best way to do this is to put on “Irreplaceable” by Beyoncé. To the left, to the left! (In order to really be able to brag about dates on the social networks that your ex-partner frequents, I still recommend not always just swiping to the left on Tinder. Just sayin'.)
Breakup method: breakup app
And if you need a touch of satisfaction after a bad, bad relationship, the app “And Bye!” laid on the broken heart. For just 89 cents you get a collection of sayings that hit below the belt. In economically difficult times, economically sensible decisions have to be made - a trip to the Fast-Ex may cost fuel and it may no longer be worth it.
However, the statements by the chairman of the German Etiquette Society, Dr. Hans-Michael Klein, on the question of whether breaking up in the Internet age should revolutionize as much as technology: He advocates that new media also require new manners.
Anyone who is abandoned is sad, hurt and offended - whether via Morse message, hours of tear-soaked discussion or Twitter. Often the anger in the breakup style is just the pain of the breakup itself. And that justified pain needs to be processed - that will take longer than typing a text message.
In a time when we have countless communication channels, we are spoiled for choice when it comes to choosing the right one for the unpleasant break-up. Which corresponds to our wishes and which corresponds to the partner's separation requirements?
